Words

Words is all this is. I don't seem to be able to follow up anything with the proper actions. I sit and type and talk about what I need to do but I am not doing it. I have been thinking and eating this past week. I have been trying to decide what it is I need and can do. I know what I am supposed to say but it is not working because I am not doing it....It's like all I want to do is eat crap....I need to make this change before I get to far gone and it gets to be more than I can handle. I need to be honest with myself and figure out what is stopping me...I am afraid to fail and I am afraid to succeed...again. I have done this before, it was alot of work and slowly but surely I managed to put all the weight back on, and that was before I had a baby as an excuse. I am afraid I will succeed and not be happy and put all the weight back on. I don't know if it's just easier to be afraid or what it is....I think I need to sit down and talk about this and make myself a plan that I can stick with. The plan I came up with at the end of last week is a plan that I can easily live with, I just need to do it. I know this is how everyone feels but it feels like the loneliest place on earth....